Thursday, March 7, 2019
Rat Part 2
Note: Rated R. This
blog contains graphic violence. Pacifists, animal lovers, and the squeamish
have been warned. Caution is advised.
Part 1 Recap. The Rat was flushed down the toilet,
reappeared, left its little droppings, and was invited to enjoy a tomato on a
rat trap. This kind of rat trap is a
board of very sticky paper. The rat is
supposed to dine on the tomato treat and stick itself to the sticky board. It
was put on the counter near the food, where he was known to hang out.
Part 2 begins with the Rat trap. What happened? Did the rat stick to the trap?
Or did the trap fail? …… Well, the Rat approached the trap on the counter, took
a dainty step up to the tomato and enjoyed a healthy snack. When it had its fill, it kicked the trap off
the counter, and merrily skipped back to its little nest…. It wasn’t letting a
little sticky paper get in its way of freedom.
John and Janet discovered that the rat had again frolicked
on the table next to their bed, snacked on avocados and tomatoes in the
kitchen, and horror of horrors!!!!.... had gotten into a suitcase and eaten
Janet’s unmentionables. Revenge? Dominance?
What was the Rat seeking?
War was declared when John stepped outside to shake out the
suitcase. The staff gathered around and conferred.
It was time to find the nest!!! Time to bring out the big
guns and get serious!
The Rat appeared to have chewed on the insulation in the
stove, so that was taken out.
Then, it was decided to take out the wardrobe and replace it
with a ratless one.
Then, with all the commotion, the rat made a run for it. John saw it frantically scurrying under the
bed, and leaping over the threshold ending up in the back room. The only hiding
place could be under the overstuffed chair, where it could watch TV. Obviously,
it had been determined to watch its American cousin on MSNBC TV News and that’s
why it wasn’t leaving. No revenge. No domination. Simple family allegiance. BUT!
The witch rat hunt was on.
Emmanuel rushed out of the apartment and came back in
minutes with a weapon… a big stick. He closed the door behind him as he
fiercely entered the back room. Degera, the guard at the front gate, snuck in
and joined him.
For those of us outside the room, we heard furniture being
moved, then a yell and a healthy cry of HOOAH! (The battle cry of the Airborne Rangers!). There was a big bang…. and
silence. The rat was dead. Emmanuel and Degera left the room and discarded the carcass.
Then, it was time for the debrief and the official press
conference.
“How did you kill the rat?” I asked Emmanuel. “Did you hit it with the stick?”
“I didn’t kill it. Degera killed it.” he replied.
“How did he do that?” I asked.
“He stomped on it with his foot.” Emmanuel explained.
“Did it squish blood all over the place? Did he snap its
little spine with a crunch?” I asked.
“No. no.” answered Emmanuel. “The rat was dazed and he hit
it again and it died.”
And the super hero smiled shyly.
Thus ends the saga of the Rat in the toilet, on the counter,
behind the stove, in the closet and under the chair.
Post Script Note:
Parts of this blog could be considered fake news. If you declare it thus, so be
it.
